This article was submitted to The Parkville (Missouri) Luminary for publication.  As of January 11, 2008, it has not yet been published, although I'm told it will be. 

I ask you to take part in an exercise with me.

It is an exercise of equivalents. If you have children, would you be willing to accept in trade six 3-year-olds for a single 18-year-old? Perhaps you find the very concept to be offensive. My apologies. Let's instead try pets. Would you accept a litter of kittens for you beloved adult pet cat? Again, maybe this comparison game is an affront to your sensibilities. I don't mean to cast a pall on your new year.

But there is a reason why I want folks to take part in this drill. It was reported a while back that the city of Parkville and Missouri American Water Company had agreed on a sort of formula by which the water company would destroy several dozen trees in English Landing Park, but would replace them on a "diameter-by-diameter basis". Included among those trees on death row is one "giant" tree, one of the old sentries of the park, which lend the park that sort of cathedral-like quality so many of its devotees find to be such a draw. So I want everyone to consider: Do twelve 2-inch diameter trees equal one 2-foot diameter shade tree? A tree which has stood for, say, 60 years or more, which has seen all the floods and all the changes in those years, in exchange for a few relative saplings?

Now then, another radical proposal. At the risk of raising more hackles, I wonder: Did anyone ask the trees?

I know, to most people in this culture, trees aren't worthy partners. I submit, however, that truth lies in perspective, that it is all in the manner in which you look at things. Not everyone who has ever regarded the prospect of trading trees for saplings would think that a diameter-by-diameter standard for measurement is a good one.

The "benefit" of an additional water line, and with it the prospect of "progress", of additional speculative development, is what we get from this faustian bargain. To be fair, Missouri American will be bound to pay a lease to the city for 99 years. But I wonder if anyone in 1909 would have thought it was a good deal to stretch their business or personal obligations out until 2008? My guess is they would have jumped at the prospect. Oh, and the city will be able to install a fountain. Fountains can be nice. In this circumstance, however, it seems to be a case of gilding the lily.

But don't take my word for it. Make it part of your New Year's resolution to get more exercise. Like the exercise of equivalents. Turn off the television and listen to the trees, and to the river, and to the birds. They'll answer the question, if you open your ears.